Record of Possible Encounters
The following are excerpts from Raymond Fowler's diary, in which he recorded his own alien/abduction-related experiences. "They may be nightmares, or they may be memories of real events filtered up from my subconscious in the form of dreams," he says, adding that the latter explanation is supported by circumstantial physical evidence.
NOVEMBER 8, 1990 (Early a.m.):
I remember portions of a strange dream of being in some kind of laboratory. The man who ran the laboratory was a friend but I cannot remember who he was. It was no one I knew in real life. He jokingly told me that he would sign a document indicating tat I had been abducted by alien beings if I wanted, but indicated that he'd only do it because I was his friend. He laughed as he signed it and passed it to me as if to say that he did not really believe that I had been abducted. I felt angry and asked him if he would really like to see an alien. He said yes. I began to stare at his eyes.
It was at this point that I instantaneously felt the inception of the typical tingling sensation felt in the past during bedroom visitation experiences. The dream abruptly came to an end at this point. I felt pressure enveloping my whole body and felt myself rising vertically and then moving horizontally along somewhere. I could not open my eyes. I felt an exhilarating tingling sensation - a feeling of release - weightlessness. I felt as if I were just floating horizontally. The feeling was similar to what I felt during the Dodge Cunt Big Hall (an incident recounted in The watchers) experience when I went up the beam with the entity except I could not see, and thus I was not afraid of falling from a height.
I do not know how high I was. I was just floating along horizontally. I then said to myself, "I'm going with them. I want to go with them but I want to come back." I stopped and hovered. I still could not open my eyes, but now I could see a small concentrated bright patch of light through my closed eyelids. It was just a small, blurred, shapeless mass looking like what a distant light bulb would look like through closed eyes in a dark room. Then I felt someone touch me and hold me. I felt love coursing through my body and I asked, "Is that you, Mummy?" (Note: I may have thought I'd died and was touched by my deceased mother.) Then I began to move horizontally once again. Then I stopped and felt myself descending. I stopped and at this point began to feel weight and bodily sensations. I began to feel the presence of my arms and legs but they were paralyzed, and I felt a tingling sensation all through my body.
I knew I was now lying in bed and tried to come back to full consciousness. I didn't believe that I was dreaming because I knew that I was lying in bed. I knew that I could not move. I knew that I was trying to get out of that strange state of semi-consciousness. Slowly but surely it dawned on me that it was part of my mind that was saying that I could not move. I felt that if I exerted enough mental pressure that I would be able to open my eyes and move my limbs.
I strained to do so and finally was able to open my eyes.
I realized then that I was lying on my back in a very strange position. My legs were tightly crossed over my chest. (?) (I never sleep in such a positions.) Now that I could feel my limbs, I strained mentally to move them, and slowly was finally able to move them in a dream-like way. As I raised them up slowly, they felt almost weightless and as if they were floating up and off my chest. They still felt as if they were just barely a part of me.
Then I suddenly wondered if I'd had an abduction experience or if I had nearly died. Then, for some reason, I slowly placed my legs and arms back into the folded positions and closed my eyes. Remnants of the tingling sensation were still with me. I mentally said, "I want to go with you again. I want to see you. I want to come back though." I felt part of me trying to rise vertically again. I felt totally relaxed. It was a feeling of near freedom, but I could not go. Slowly I opened my eyes again and tried to move my limbs. I laid there for awhile again either not able to or not willing to move. I was enjoying and trying to retain the tingling feeling.
Then, slowly but surely, I found myself raising my hands off my chest. It was if time had slowed down and I was moving in slow motion. I did the same with my feet as the prickling sensation slowly dissipated. I told myself that I must remember this extraordinary experience. I reached for a Kleenex box at the head of the bed and placed it on my bureau to remind me of what I had experienced.
I noted that the clock read 2:33 a.m. I slowly got out of bed and walked in a dream-like state to use the bathroom. On the way, I stopped and looked at the sky through my study picture window and again wondered if I'd had an abduction experience. I glanced at the study clock. It read about 2:26 a.m. I used the bathroom and went back to bed. The clock read 2:28 in the bedroom. I wondered if I should try to re-enter the strange state of consciousness again.
I laid on my back and re-folded my arms and legs as before, but I thought of death and the possibility of not coming back if I succeeded. Something told me to roll over into my normal sleeping position and go to sleep. I did this. When I awoke in the morning, I had a clear memory of what I have noted above. I got a pad of paper and wrote down everything that I could remember for the record, in the event that it might be significant for future study.
March 29, 1991 (Early A.M.):
Last night in the early hours of the morning (can't remember the time) I had a very realistic dream. I suddenly found myself lying in a bright room with three entities. One looked human. He was bending over me. The other two were the typical grays, although one was shorter than the other. I can't remember what the human entity was wearing or what he looked like or even what he did or said, but the two grays were dressed in form-fitting white coveralls. The smaller one was reassuring me that I would be okay. He seemed nice. The taller one just stared. I had the feeling that I knew all three of them and that I did not like the tall one.
What woke me up (in the dream) was the feeling that something was touching the right nostril of my nose. I remember seeing one of them holding a needle like device that ended with a small right angle-like hook. Then, I could only feel, not see. I could not move and was lying down.
Something went into my nostril and pried it open. It was painful at first, but then just became numb although I could still feel my nostril being expanded. Then I felt blood begin to flow profusely out of my right nostril. I felt completely helpless and thought it might be all over for me. I resigned myself to the worst. Then, whatever it was, was removed from my nose. I found that could now move at least my right hand, because I immediately reached up and cupped it over my nostrils and felt blood still coming out.
The next thing that I remember was my eyes opening and being alone with the small gray, who again reassured me. I felt that he was caring and friendly. I lay there and could move again, but for some reason wasn't frightened and did not try to get away. The small gray asked me if I wanted to see something. I think it was a book or a diagram which depicted what had just been done to me. I reached for it but no sooner had I started to look at it, the taller gray came in from my right, and saw me with whatever it was. He demanded to know who gave it to me and was angry with the small gray. I could hear and recognize his voice in my head from somewhere. His voice was different from the smaller one. It was stern, uncaring and businesslike.
I saw what looked like a paper or plastic cup of water on a table-like a piece of furniture pulled alongside where I had been reclining. I was now sitting up. I asked if I could have a drink of water, as I felt extremely dry. The taller one just gazed at me and said, "No!" very sternly.
The next thing I knew, I woke up in my bed from what seemed to be a very realistic nightmare. I felt that I must remember it, so I reached behind me and put a Kleenex box up on my bureau to remind me of the dream in the morning.
I got up in the morning still remembering the dream. When I got dressed, I reached to place my pajamas under the pillow and was shocked to find some spots of blood on the pillow! I then took a pad of paper and outlined everything that I could remember about the dream. I also examined my nose, but found no sign of bleeding nor did my nose feel abnormal in any way. However, because of the realness of the dream and the blood found on my pillow, I felt that this incident should be recorded, at least what I could remember about it. Unfortunately, when I awoke I'm afraid some parts of the dream were drifting away from my conscious mind. I'm sure there is more to it, but I just can't remember.