ONCE AND FUTURE MEBy: David E. Caywood
Having focused so much on just keeping my course and looking out for the dangers of the forest, I had forgotten the reason I had hiked so many miles to get to the inlet. I guess I came here to find out why I came here. Feeling somewhat foolish, I sat down on a large rock that jutted from the ground like a tabletop, and began to re-examine my real purpose for enduring such a dangerous journey. I didn't have long to wait for the answer. What happened next altered whatever sense of shared reality I ever had with the rest of the world, and pushed my boundaries to the edge of the unimaginable.
Off in the distance, hovering over the open fields and flatland marshes, two small silver discs caught my eye. Jumping off the rock, I swung around and stood in full view of the objects. My heart thumped loudly in my chest, while needle-like chills crawled up my back.
Where can I hide, my panicked mind raced. Looking back over my shoulder, the forest loomed in the distance. The deepening shadows and thick moss of the pines seemed foreboding. The two silver discs were now zigzagging across the fields in close formation. They were closing in. In near panic, I managed to reason that I would probably get lost for good if I ran blindly into the woods looking for cover. With few choices at hand, I hurriedly ducked behind the rock, curling my body into the smallest ball I could manage. Although I didn't know for sure what these silver discs were up to, it was highly unlikely its occupants were just out on a sightseeing tour of the Alaskan wilderness. Fat chance! This wasn't the first time I had been confronted with flying discs! If I was their target, there would be no way of getting out of it. I knew in my heart that "they" were coming for me--again!
Oh no! What have I done? I thought, berating myself for being here alone, miles from home. My options didn't look good. I was afraid to go back the way I came, and I certainly couldn't jump headlong into the frigid Arctic sea. My only other choice was to charge into the open field and try to outrun them. But that would only make it easier for them. C'mon David, think! I cursed my gullible stupidity for having come here in the first place. I had lied to Aunt Robbie, who thought Dad knew where I was. He and my uncle wouldn't be back for hours, maybe not even until tomorrow. No one would even bother to look for me until it was.too late.
Then in that awful instant of morbid anxiety, something remarkable happened. A shifting took place inside my fever-pitched mind. Like a cool wash cloth to the forehead, my panic broke. I stood up straight and walked out from behind the rock. This shift from within was not done through a new sense of bravery. It was more like I had been given access to the vault of courage that only the soul knows about and keeps locked away. Bravery, it is said, is not the absence of fear. Rather, it is feeling those fears and then standing up to them. Leaving the illusionary safety of the rock, I walked slowly toward the two pancake-shaped discs, now hanging silently about thirty feet off the ground and not more than a hundred yards away. My legs were wet spaghetti, but I knew that I would not run--not this time. I stood my ground and faced them.
Like silent lightning, a brilliant blue beam shot out from the underside of one of the discs, forming a shaft of swirling light. Any perceived bravery I had mustered quickly took leave. Now I really wanted to hide. But they had obviously seen me. My senses went to overload; not a good place to be while facing a perceived life-threatening situation. Move! Get out of here! my mind shouted. But, as usual, it was too late. I watched helplessly as a white formless mass descended from the tubular beam of blue light and began to take the shape of a human figure. A tall human-appearing man walked out of the beam and into the sunlight, as casually as one might step out of their front door.
My rooted feet began to sway. I could not yet see the man's face with complete clarity; however, he appeared to have two eyes, two ears, a nose and a mouth, just like a regular person. He also wore hiking boots on his two normal-looking feet.
"Please don't run. Don't be afraid of me, David", the man spoke. How the heck does he know my name? I wondered.
"I won't hurt you. No one going to hurt you, especially me." The man continued to walk a little closer, stopping every few feet, careful to check his progress toward me. Don't be frightened, he repeated. He now seemed as unsure of me as I was of him. He came within speaking distance, even as I felt my knees begin to buckle. "I know that you must be very frightened. I can see it on your face, and I can feel it in my heart. But you are in no danger! You are among friends."
What should I make of this man? If indeed he were human, how was it that he could talk without moving his lips? Still more suspicious, how was I able to hear him? Keeping his distance so as to not push me further into panic, he pointed to his forehead and then to mine. As hard as I tried, I could not hear anything but the salty wind whistling in my ears and his voice inside my head. It was as though he were speaking in my own voice, but using his words and inflections. "You want to know how this is possible, don't you?" the man continued. It might make it easier to explain if you would allow me to come closer. I was dumbstruck. How did he know so much about me?
The man moved cautiously but deliberately over to the rock. You will come to see that I know everything there is to know about you, and even some things of which you are not yet aware. Keeping his bright blue eyes fixed on mine, he readjusted the backpack cinched over his shoulders. A brown and green flannel shirt was neatly tucked into his faded blue Levis. His blond hair and fair skin seemed strangely familiar, and his smile, under a bushy red mustache, made me think that I must somehow know him. But how could that be? I had never seen this strangely recognizable man before, especially a man who came down in a blue beam from a flying disc! Sitting down on the rock with his hands on his knees, the strange man leaned back, looking up at the sky. I had forgotten how beautiful it was here, he said, inhaling deeply. It was as though he were trying to breathe in the very sunshine and sky itself. Holding his breath for a long moment, he then quietly exhaled, returning his attention to me. I could only stare, mesmerized by this person who had so casually materialized out of thin air. It's not to say that I fully trusted him; yet I felt that we knew each other completely. He could have easily passed for my older brother, or even my father. This was so overwhelming. Yet for all I knew, this man could be one of those "creatures" disguising itself and making me think it was human. Perhaps this was some kind of a new rouse to lure me in and then nab me. If it was, it had worked.
Using our minds again, the man spoke clearly and telepathically. Yes, David, you should be careful. There will be many people and many situations that will not be in truth, and will not look out for your best interests. You will come to decide that on your own. I wish I could save you from all the mistakes and the pain that I've gone through. But doing that would mean not being who I am, and who you will become. All things at the appropriate time and place.
Just who was this guy anyway? And how did he know who I would become? How did he even know my name? His ability to "know me" was almost as amazing as his ability to materialize and be sitting on this rock. To this point, I had never been called by name by any of my abductors before.
I know your name, because I was there when your mother gave it to you. And I have no intention of kidnapping you. In fact, I have come to free you and to give you something valuable. It is a rare gift; only a few others have been given this opportunity. The man held me in his thoughts with an immense sense of compassion and understanding. I felt what he felt, and thought what he thought. I experienced these exchanges as whole ideas and emotions, with no room for misunderstanding.
The man continued: If you still don't trust me, then listen to your heart and your feelings. Your feelings will never lie to you the way words can and often do. Perhaps knowing who I am will make it easier for you to trust me. We know each other completely, David, and I sense that you understand this.
"I do understand," I said. And at that moment, the realization struck. This man was me! "But how can we be the same person?" I asked him. My mind was spinning, yet from somewhere deep within, I knew that what he said was true. Imagine, there I was looking into my own eyes, perhaps twenty-five years in the future, my future. Those eyes held more life experience and wisdom then I could have ever imagined possible. I was fourteen and forty at the same time. It was incredible. "Why are you here?" I finally questioned him. Then, with a flash of insight, I blurted out, "Oh! It's you! You're the one who has been calling me to this inlet!"
Yes, David, we have been calling to each other. I have looked for a way to help you all my life. He paused before continuing, as though checking to make sure I understood what he was saying. Your pain and loneliness are mine, just as our thoughts are one and the same. I heard you calling out to know who you were, questioning God for the answers. God always hears and answers your prayers.
God knows your pain, as do I. That is why we are here at last. You question if this is really happening, and I say to you that it is. You are not asleep or dreaming, any more than I am. How could I not come to you; to reach you and tell you not to give up? I have come to give you hope, so that you will remember me and know that you will make it through those times when things seem hopeless. I was there, David, every time you cried yourself to sleep, every time you came home from school with tears in your eyes because you were rejected by those who did not understand you.There were those who were afraid of you because you spoke your truth and were different in ways even you could not explain. I am here because you will speak your truth again. There will be those who will misunderstand because you will not behave as they would have you behave. But you must never give up. I am with you always and you are with God and his protectors.
As he spoke, I felt every word. "But how do I know that you are telling me the truth?" I asked him. Close your eyes, he gently commanded. The man put my hand in his, our palms touching, our fingers locked. Suddenly, I began to experience everything that had ever happened to me, starting from before I was born; to remember who I was, and why I chose this life and this time in Earth's history. Out of all the worlds and all the lives from which to choose, I experienced again my choice to be born into this world. It was an astonishing revelation to have the knowledge of those choices, and the fact that we even choose them in the first place. Then beginning with my present birth, I lived every joy, encountered every revelation, every thought and deed I would ever do. I experienced every injury and hurt; every sadness that I would ever know or cause. Sadly, these hurtful experiences would mostly occur during times when I forgot why I was here, and who I chose to be in this lifetime. This part was devastating.
It was more than just pictures in my head. These images were real. I experienced the full range of emotions, with the actual sights and sounds. Much of what I was seeing was wondrous, even mysterious. I lived and loved, experiencing people, places and things I could not yet know or explain. Then, as if put together with symbolic pictures, I saw nine people with whom I would one day share everything about myself. These individuals were those whom I would love completely and who would love me unconditionally in return. Together, if called upon, we would even find the courage to share with the entire world the truth of our lives in order to make real the knowledge that there is really only one of us. Of the nine people that were shown to me, there appeared a woman who spoke these words: Indeed. we have, we will, we are. You will know me when you see me. Together, we will teach others that which we know. I was to meet Landi many years later. Alongside this woman, a man whom I loved more than myself stepped into view and spoke: You and I will experience the oneness of all things. We will help each other remember who we chose to be.
This man's name was Keith. Together, these souls showed me that the remembrance of "self" as the key to self-awareness and self-enlightenment, will be spread around the world at the speed of light, changing the world more in one day than in all the eons since. On that incredible and beautiful day in the Alaskan wilderness, I held the hand of the man I was to become, while in my mind's eye, I saw and listened as I was given truths about my life and events which would happen in the future. Some of those events have come to pass; others yet remain to be realized. That day, surrounded by these beings, I saw that I was being guided. I felt protected and loved, and I knew that my encounters with beings from The Other Sky would continue for the rest of my life.This whole experience seemed to last for hours, yet when I opened my eyes after the man let go of my hand, only a fraction of a second had passed. The sun and the shadows had not moved. Neither had we. My understanding of what had been shown to me was complete, as if someone had clicked on a light in a darkened room.
Then I was back, sitting on the rock alone. The man who had sat beside me just moments before was now walking toward the hovering discs. Turning, he motioned for me to follow, and I ran happily toward him. Before I knew it, we were somehow inside one of the discs, skimming across the marsh and forest to the very spot where I began my journey that morning.
Before letting me off the craft, the man told me that there were two other beings that he wanted me to meet. He stated these two beings had a very profound influence on his life, and later would have the same influence on mine.
Immediately, two radiant entities, a man and woman, entered through a doorway that only moments before had not been there. They were both extremely tall, their bodies physically fit and well-proportioned in their form-fitting blue jumpsuits. Shoulder length, whitish-blond hair framed their liquid sky-blue eyes. They looked at me lovingly. As amazing as their presence was in this remarkable place, their warm and inviting smiles were somehow strangely familiar; so familiar that any remnants of apprehension disappeared. I felt "at home."
The two beings telepathically conveyed that we were once a family; saying that they would be with me again, keeping watch and checking on me from time to time. They radiated such immense love and admiration for me that I could not help but feel the same in return. "What are your names?" I asked them.
Maatee and Orienwendt, they answered. The two beings vowed that I would remember this meeting sometime in the future, but for now, it was destined that much of what happened this day would be forgotten. This forgetting will enable you to live life as normal as possible while on Earth, they informed me. We love you, David.
Before I could ask any more questions, I found myself standing at the entrance to the forest, looking for the two discs with the deepest sense of longing and home sickness that I have ever known. I even ventured a short distance back into the woods searching the sky for them. But there was no trace that they had ever been there, let alone that I had been with them. The man, the two beautiful beings, and the silver discs were gone.
If anyone had asked me at that moment who I was, or even where I was, I wouldn't have had an answer. I had reached far into the mysterious realms of The Other Sky, trying to absorb the impact of meeting myself. Even now, I do not have an explanation for this amazing encounter. I have only the memories of the experience.
Before leaving California that summer to visit my father in Alaska, my grandmother, with whom I had always been very close, gave me a journal. "You are old enough to begin keeping a journal. Take this with you," she insisted. I wrote every day of that entire miraculous summer as she suggested, and have kept a journal ever since. That first journal included this experience with the two silver discs.
While writing about this encounter to include here, so many more memories and details have come back to me. I have been rejoined with these memories that were temporarily erased at age fourteen, since I have now become the very man I encountered that mysterious day on the inlet. As I write, I notice that my calendar says it is August 3, 2000. Is it more than coincidence that upon opening my old and page-worn journal, I find the original entry was also dated August 3rd, exactly twenty-three years ago to the day? This is clearly no coincidence.
It is important for me to note that my beloved grandmother, who gave me the journal and told me to write, passed away the day after this was written, August 4, 2000. Some months before she died, she wanted to make certain that I knew of her encounters, seeing that I was writing a book on the subject. She asked If I would remember for her those experiences she herself had with the flying discs. I've included part of our conversation with her. At her house in Riverside, California, my grandmother privately revealed to Keith and me that she too had encountered the silver discs on Catalina Island when she was a teenager. She spoke of the very same "blue beam" coming down from the bottom of the craft to where she was standing, and how they helped her to "fly through the air" without any effort on her part. To my astonishment, she described the very same craft that I had seen as a teenager and, in fact, throughout my entire life. She stated that she had never told anyone about her experiences until now, and that she wanted me to know that I wasn't crazy or imagining these things. "These things are real, as real as my love for you, David," Grandma had said.
Now that my grandmother has passed from this world, her remembrance is total. I celebrate her memory, courage, and strength, all the while knowing that my total remembrance has really only begun. Thank you Grandma for being you. I will remember for the both of us. God speed home.
My experience in meeting my future self that day on the inlet has caused me to wonder that if we are a civilization in possession of a greater working knowledge of dimensional physics and quantum gravity, then why shouldn't we be able to traverse three-dimensional space as well as the fourth dimension of time? From my perspective, science is only scratching the surface of what is possible. That summer of 1977 had indeed changed the once and future me.
Sent in by Ed Komarek from Shirley McLaine's web site